The Most Woeful Time of the Year: Why Are the Holidays So Hard, and How Can You Get Through Them?

We’re supposed to be excited for the holidays. But if you’re like many people, you may

find yourself dreading the upcoming season. Here, I examine why so

many of us feel unhappy, stressed, and depressed during the holidays—and offer

strategies to help you get through them with your well-being intact.

By Graeme Cowan, guest blogger and author of Back from the Brink: True Stories and Practical Help for Overcoming Depression and Bipolar Disorder

With its sparkly decorations, family traditions, and festive get-togethers, this is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But for many of us, the holidays are the most woeful time instead. During this period, breakups, overindulgence in alcohol, financial pressure, overall stress and even mortality rates spike.

Sure, each holiday season comes with its bright spots and good memories, but if you still find yourself wishing you could just fast-forward through the next few months, you’re not alone. The truth is that the holidays are full of stressors and triggers that leave many of us feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or even unable to cope.

Before you resign yourself to another year of suffering from the holiday blues, I urge you to take a deep breath, smell the pine trees, and take control of what you can.

Often, you can influence your holiday experience more than you think. It’s all about identifying the factors that negatively affect your state of mind and making a conscious decision to avoid or minimize your exposure to those things.

Here, I spotlight eight factors that bring us down during the holidays and offer advice on how to deal with each one:

We force ourselves to spend time with nasty people. Your judgmental father-in-law. Your constantly one-upping cousin. Your critical "frenemy." Your inappropriate coworker. Every holiday season, we voluntarily spend time with people like this in the name of fellowship, tradition, family, and the so-called “holiday spirit.”

Every year, we tell ourselves that this year will be different—we’ll avoid the arguments and keep the mood friendly. But the truth is, if someone causes you anger or anxiety during the other 11 months of the year, it’s unlikely that things will be any different at a family holiday lunch or office party. Go into the situation with realistic expectations and remember that your well-being (not being polite!) is your first priority. If you feel your agitation rising, say, “Excuse me,” and walk away. Then talk to someone else. Help in the kitchen. Play with the dog. Or just ride off into the sunset. Making yourself miserable by engaging with a nasty person just isn’t worth it.

The holidays remind us of loss. Maybe you were laid off from your job or have been diagnosed with a disease in the past year—and you’re dreading the “So, what’s new in your life?” questions you’ll have to field at get-togethers. Or perhaps you’ve lost a parent or been through a divorce and are depressed by the thought of facing the holidays alone.

No matter what you’ve lost—your health, a loved one, a job, or something else—the holidays tend to highlight what’s missing in your life. And unfortunately, there’s often no easy way to sidestep or dull the pain you’re feeling. As much as possible, enlist the support of your friends and family. They’ll provide a listening ear, they may help run social interference, and they’ll understand if you just don’t feel up to attending another party. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you’re struggling, either—there’s absolutely no shame in reaching out.

We neglect our well-being. With so many holiday distractions and obligations, it’s all too easy for well-being strategies to fall by the wayside. We tell ourselves we’ll get back on the workout wagon, cut out the junk food, and catch up on our sleep after the new year…but those good intentions don’t cause us to feel any less exhausted or irritable right now.

My best advice is to plan ahead. If you don’t, that yoga class, healthy homemade meal, or eight hours of sleep won’t happen. Remember, if you aren’t feeling your best physically or mentally, you won’t have the zest and purpose you need to enjoy the holidays. I suggest making a special effort to fit physical activity into your schedule. Research shows that a 20-minute brisk walk, or the equivalent, significantly improves mood for up to 12 hours, and exercise also improves the quality of your sleep.

We compare ourselves to everyone else. Of course this happens throughout the year, but we’re especially prone to dwell on what others have (and we don’t) during this time of year. Maybe you’re going through a divorce, so spending time with your sister and her adoring husband makes you feel especially lonely. Or you’re struggling to make ends meet, so the fact that your best friend whisked his family off to the Bahamas makes you feel like a failure.

If you find that your mood is consistently affected by feeling less-than, you may need to go on a social media diet. I also encourage you to talk to someone else—whether that’s a trusted friend, clergy person, or counselor—about what you’re feeling. Hopefully, this person can help you develop a healthier perspective by pointing out all the things you have to be proud of in your life. A focus on gratitude can be a game changer.

Unhealthy triggers are all around us. For better or worse, the holidays are known for buffet lines, blowout meals, and boozy toasts. In moderation, food and drink can enhance the festivities, but more often, overindulgence contributes to poor health, self-recrimination, bad moods, and even worse decisions. (Be honest—you’d never have had last year’s awful argument with your brother if you hadn’t both been drinking…and you dread stepping on the scale after January 1^st.)

When it comes to avoiding holiday overindulgence, mindfulness is key. Know what your triggers are and have a plan to manage or avoid those things. For instance, maybe you eat a healthy meal before heading to your friend’s cocktail party, wear pants with an unforgiving waistband, or ask your spouse to cut you off after one or two drinks—whatever works for you! Just don’t show up at eating-and-drinking events without a plan, because your good intentions won’t last long in the face of temptation.

It’s cold and dark outside. Sure, you grumbled along with the rest of the country when it started to get dark before 6:00 p.m. and temperatures began to plummet…but you probably didn’t give the season change much more thought. However, these factors can have a very real impact on your holiday mood.

You’ve probably heard of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which can cause sufferers to feel depressed, moody, and lethargic during the winter months. SAD affects millions of Americans. Have you ever considered that you may be one of them? Even if you’re not, everyone benefits from being outdoors and getting sunlight, which boosts your serotonin levels.

We enjoy festivities…but we don’t enjoy paying for them. If you’re overspending on gifts, parties, food, decorations, and more, you won’t feel very festive. Instead, you’ll be brooding over your dwindling account balance and worrying about all of the bills you’ll receive once the celebrations are over. You may even begin to resent others for “forcing” you to buy them presents or attend costly events.

It can’t be said enough: Setting (and sticking to) a holiday budget can make this time of year so much more enjoyable. Figure out how much you can comfortably spend, identify priorities, and record each expenditure. Also, remember that money and value aren’t necessarily synonymous. You might consider having a potluck with friends instead of exchanging gifts, or writing a heartfelt note of appreciation to family members.

The holidays can exacerbate depression or anxiety. If you’re suffering from clinical depression or an anxiety disorder, you’re struggling with a lot more than “just” the holiday blues. Typical holiday stressors can seem overwhelming, and the knowledge that you’re “supposed” to be carefree and happy can make you feel even worse.

As someone who has struggled with severe depression, I can’t stress enough how important it is that you prioritize your well-being above others’ expectations. With their social expectations and reminders of loss, the holidays can feel like a psychological minefield. Make sure you keep the lines of communication with your doctor or counselor open and try to discuss healthy coping mechanisms beforehand. 

            The holidays can certainly be a time of joy and happiness. The odds of that happening are highest when you go into the season with an awareness of what triggers stress and unhappiness for you. Take control of what you can to improve your health and well-being, whether that means limiting your social engagements, avoiding certain people or situations, or setting aside time to exercise each day. May the best in life, love, and happiness be ahead of you this holiday season!

# # #

About the Author:

Graeme Cowan is the author of Back from the Brink: True Stories and Practical Help for Overcoming Depression and Bipolar Disorder (New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2014, ISBN: 978-1-608-82856-2, $16.95, www.IAmBackFromTheBrink.com). He is also a speaker who helps people build their resilience, well-being, and performance. Despite spending most of his career as a senior executive in Sydney, Australia, with organizations like Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer, and A.T. Kearney, Graeme had struggled with depression for more than 20 years. Graeme reemerged with not just a best-selling Australian book series to his name but a new attitude toward the way individuals approach recovery.

He is also the author of the report “The Elephant in the Boardroom: Getting Mentally Fit for Work,” which highlights that 86 percent of people with a mood disorder in the workplace would rather suffer in silence than discuss their illnesses with colleagues. Cowan is one of Australia’s leading speakers and authors in the area of building resilience and mental health, and has appeared regularly on national Australian television and radio and had articles written in the Australian Financial Review on workplace health. He is also a director of the R U OK? Foundation, whose slogan is “A Conversation Could Change a Life” (www.ruokday.com), and was supported in its launch campaign with video promotions from Australian actors Hugh Jackman, Simon Baker, and Naomi Watts. Cowan is passionate about sharing his journey and helping others to find hope, know they are not alone, and find a way back from the brink.

See Cowan interviewed on NBC’s affiliate Seattle station.

About the Book:

Back from the Brink: True Stories and Practical Help for Overcoming Depression and Bipolar Disorder (New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2014, ISBN: 978-1-608-82856-2, $16.95, www.IAmBackFromTheBrink.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and major online booksellers.

Sports Injuries and Overuse for Children

- Courtesy of Children's of Alabama

For a child, there’s nothing like the lessons learned from being on the field and having an opportunity to make   a game winning run or the sportsmanship gained from playing together as a team and coming up short with       a loss. Childhood sports are part of our lives. They bring joy to children and their families. Not only that, being involved in athletics can be beneficial to a child’s development. But as any parent knows, there is always the risk  of injury.

By knowing the causes of sports injuries, and how to prevent them, you can make involvement in sports a more positive experience.

Drew Ferguson is UAB’s director of Sports Medicine at Children’s of Alabama. He points out that age can be a factor in many injuries. “The younger kids don’t have the body control, the neck coordination to play a lot of these sports”, Ferguson says, “It’s important to try to teach the basics, the fundamentals because developing bodies and awkwardness can lead to injuries that you don’t see in older more developed children.” On the other hand, Ferguson points out, as a child grows and develops, injuries can take place due to the force of physical contact between bigger, stronger kids.

There are things you can do to help prevent your kids from being injured.

Preventing Sports Injuries

Use of Proper Equipment

Children should always use the proper equipment and appropriate safety gear for each sport.   That gear should always be the correct size and fit well.

Ask your child’s coach about the appropriate helmets, shoes, mouth guards, athletic cups and  padding. Shatterproof goggles should be considered as well.

Protective equipment should be approved by the organizations that govern each of the sports. Protective gear should be properly maintained to ensure effectiveness.

Maintenance and Appropriateness of Playing Surfaces

Coaches and parents should ensure that playing fields are in good condition. Holes and ruts could cause children to fall and get hurt.   For sports like running and basketball, surfaces should be more forgiving like a track and wooden courts over concrete surfaces.

Adequate Adult Supervision and Commitment to Safety

Any team sport or activity that kids participate in should be supervised by qualified adults. The team coach should have training in first aid and CPR, and the coach's philosophy should promote players' well-being, not a ‘win at all costs’ approach. Additionally, make sure your kids are matched for sports according to their skill level, size, and physical and emotional maturity.

Proper Preparation

A child should always be taught how to play the sport before going out on the field. The child should be adequately prepared with warm-ups and training sessions before practices as well as before games. In addition, kids should drink plenty of fluids and be allowed to rest during practices and games.

Types of Injuries

Sports injuries are usually divided into three categories. Acute injuries, overuse injuries and reinjury. 

Acute

Acute injuries occur suddenly and are usually the result of some trauma. They could range from sprains or strains to the more serious concussions.

Overuse

Another common source of injury is overuse. This is seen in sports with the same, repetitive motions.    One example is “Little League Elbow”, which is pain and tenderness in the elbow due to repetitive throwing.

Reinjury

Reinjury often happens when a player returns to the game before he or she is properly healed from a previous injury.   A player should wait for their doctor’s approval before re-entering the sport, and even still, should start back gradually to prevent getting hurt again.

What to Do

If your child is injured, they should stop playing immediately.   Ferguson says whether or not to call the doctor may depend on how much pain they are feeling. “On a pain scale from one to ten, if they are below a five you may want to wait,” he says. “But if it gets more painful over time you may want to have them seen for treatment.”   You may also consider taking them to a doctor if the area is swollen, they are limping or have limited range of motion, or if the pain continues for more than a week.

Once the child has been treated by a doctor, remember to follow the doctor’s orders!   Avoid activity and wait on the doctor’s approval before playing again to avoid reinjury.

By keeping these tips in mind children and their families can do their part to avoid injury and enjoy many years of athletics.

For more information on this or other health and safety topics, visit www.childrensal.org.  To see Children's of Alabama experts discuss this topic, click here. 

Why “Keeping Up with the Joneses” Is Actually Keeping You Down—and Nine Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

Most of us have an ingrained, unconscious drive to keep up with the Joneses (or, as we’re more likely to think of it, the status quo). But instead of creating fulfilling lives, we’re actually making ourselves anxious and unhappy.

By Donna Skeels Cygan   

The American Dream has evolved past the humble “white picket fence.” Way past. We all strive for the “nice” home (as defined by HGTV and Pinterest) as opposed to the cozy one, keep a perpetual car payment instead of driving an older model, and chauffeur kids to an endless array of pricey activities rather than sending them outside. Call it creeping consumerism, entitlement, or plain old peer pressure. The point is, we see our hectic and expensive lifestyles as normal—and it’s time we realized that keeping up with the proverbial Joneses is actually extravagant and irresponsible.

The Joneses you’re trying to keep up with aren’t the doctors and lawyers two streets over. They’re the middle managers, teachers, and laundromat owners next door, and—guess what?—they’re as anxious and unhappy as you are. That’s why I want to reframe our perspective on what’s “normal” and adopt a simpler lifestyle with less debt and stress.

 Fulfilling lives are lives based on your core values, not the ones society dictates. It’s amazing how many of us feel we have to live in the right neighborhood or drive a new car just because our peers do.

Often, happiness means making a deliberate choice to stop keeping up with the Joneses. You have to pay attention and get mindful about where your money goes. It’s worth the effort. The consequences of living beyond our means outweigh the short-term satisfaction we feel when we pull out a credit card to make another upgrade. Lavish spending just does not make us happy at all (at least not for long). Sane, smart money management does.

I point to Denmark, which, according to data collected by the Gallup Organization, was ranked as the happiest country in the world in recent years. The results are summarized in the World Happiness Report 2013, and the U.S. came in at 17. While many factors contribute to Denmark’s ranking, Danes’ attitude toward money is certainly one of them.

In Denmark, modesty is a virtue, and showing off is looked down upon. Overall, Danes don’t feel the need to pursue bigger homes, nicer cars, and more fashionable clothes—and consequently, they carry less unnecessary debt. Danes also place a high priority on living a socially balanced life, setting aside time to spend with their families and friends.

In my book The Joy of Financial Security, I combine financial expertise with research from psychology, neuroscience, and economics to shine a light on the complex relationship between money and happiness. Here, I highlight nine financial and psychological benefits of cutting ties with the Joneses:

You’ll set a sane, sustainable example for your children. For many families, choosing to stop emulating the Joneses will mean making significant, tangible changes in everyday life: canceling your premium cable package, dining out less, or setting a limit for back-to-school clothes spending, for example. And that’s a good thing, because it provides you the opportunity to sit down with your children and have an important financial conversation.

Walk your children through the changes you’re making and point out how much money you’ll be saving. Then, explain your reasoning: “We are saving for your college education…we are saving for our retirement…we are living within our means.” Be sure to point out that being in control of your finances positively impacts your peace of mind.

You’ll be able to set up an emergency fund. Emergency funds may not seem like a top priority…until you absolutely, positively need one because you lost your job, or because the septic tank flooded, or because your car broke down.

Often, people end up putting unexpected expenses on their credit cards when they don’t have an emergency fund to tap into. It can take years to climb out of the deep, dark hole the debt creates. Don’t underestimate the peace of mind an emergency fund can bring, whether you end up using it or not. If you don’t already have enough saved to cover expenses for six months, make this your top priority.

You’ll be in a position to fund your future. You know that you should be aggressively saving: for the traveling you want to do, to help fund your kids’ college educations, and especially for your own retirement. But when you’re figuring out how to allocate each month’s paycheck, other (often unnecessary) expenses always take precedence, despite your best intentions. This trend is more widespread than you might think: 36 percent of Americans, including over 25 percent aged 50 to 64, have yet to start saving for retirement.

Whatever your age, it’s crucial to stop living on the financial edge and start increasing your savings percentage. Don’t wait for that next raise, or until your car is paid off. Ditch whatever excuses you’re using to stall. If you don’t make sacrifices now, you will have to make them later. It’s a sad fact that a lot of the Joneses will be strapped for cash in their golden years, and by then, you’ll want to be well ahead of them, not just keeping up.

After building up your emergency fund, I recommend making your savings automatic, whether you’re funneling money toward an employer-provided 401(k), a Roth IRA, a taxable investment account, or something else. Even if you’re able to set aside only $25 or $50 per month initially, it’s a step in the right direction. You’ll soon see improvement, and knowing you’re taking control of your money feels great. On my website, www.joyoffinancialsecurity.com, I offer resources and tools to help you calculate and increase the percentage of your income you are saving.

You can work less and live more. Here’s the great irony of keeping up with the Joneses: You’re spending, spending, spending on a big house, a new car, and all the latest electronics because these things are the status quo, and you feel that you deserve them. Then you have to work even harder to sustain the lifestyle that you’re not really enjoying at all because you’re stressed and exhausted. It’s a vicious cycle that many people never break, because they never realize that the source of their unhappiness is, in fact, all of the “stuff” they thought would bring them joy.

I’m not saying you’ll be able to quit your job when you rein in your spending, but you might find you can slow your soul-crushing pace, or that you can cut back on the overtime. Even a few extra hours each week can be applied to living a healthier life (perhaps through exercise), to hobbies, and to nurturing relationships with friends and family. And best of all, those activities won’t be overshadowed by gnawing worries about money.

You’ll feel less anxious and more at peace. Self-deprivation and frugality may not sound like fun. But the truth is, controlling our money feels good. Conversely, spending without limits feels bad. The initial rush you may get from treating yourself to everything you don’t need wears off—and it does not bring more fun, greater happiness, or better memories. In fact, perpetually low account balances and credit card debt often lead to long-lasting anxiety and unhappiness. 

There are many things in life we can’t control. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to the things we can control and to be aware of their impact on our happiness. You control where you go, what you do, and how much you spend. You’ll find that when you control the controllables, you’ll feel much more at peace—because you aren’t worrying about how you’re going to pay for everything!

You can simplify your life and zero in on what really matters. Ever notice how much time and energy a so-called “normal” life sucks up? You have to clean, maintain, decorate (and redecorate) that spacious home. Electronic devices and gadgets monopolize your (and your kids’) attention. Your schedule is packed, and you’re constantly zooming from work to the dry cleaner’s to the latest stop on the traveling soccer team’s tournament calendar. Not only are you overstimulated, you’re exhausted! And most discouraging of all, half the activities on your calendar don’t bring you any fulfillment.

Resolving not to keep up with the Joneses forces you to clarify what your values are. Instead of letting society dictate your priorities, you’re faced with the liberating responsibility of reordering your life. Often, that involves simplifying—getting rid of unnecessary and unwanted items, obligations, and self-imposed responsibilities. This frees up literal and figurative space for you to make new and wonderful changes, which will probably involve spending more time with the people you love. Don’t forget: Psychology research shows that improving our relationships with others is the number-one way to increase our happiness.

You’ll up your gratitude quotient. When you’re being swept through life by the current of consumerism, it’s easy to fall into a “more, more, more” mindset: When can I go on vacation again? When can I go shopping? When will I be eligible for an upgrade on my phone? And when you’re not getting your “fix,” you feel a sense of lack that distracts you from the present moment with its small joys—like reading a book to your child or working in your herb garden.

Where you place your attention determines your attitude, your behavior, and your choices. Focusing on what you don’t have increases stress, dissatisfaction, and financial irresponsibility. But when you scale down your life, the many blessings you already have will become more apparent to you. And when you’re grateful, you don’t need to fill some inner void by acquiring more stuff.

Your priorities can shift away from “things” to “experiences.” For most people (and certainly for the Joneses), having a good time comes with a price tag. From booking lavish vacations to eating at expensive restaurants to making sure our homes are decked out with flat-screen TVs and sound systems, we don’t mind pulling out our wallets in the name of enjoyment. (And often, we don’t worry about the price tag until it’s too late.)

But what if the finest things in life can’t be bought? Psychology shows that experiences are always more impactful on our happiness than things. Take vacation, for example. Though they may not realize it, most people would be happier pursuing quieter, more off-the-beaten-path, yet still deeply fulfilling experiences—hiking, bike riding, or playing in the surf with their kids—than crowding into some overpriced tourist trap. Do some soul searching and ask yourself what really brings you joy before you get out the credit cards.

You’ll be in a position to give back. Living a life that’s meaningful to you instead of to the Joneses will probably increase your margins of time, energy, and money, making it possible for you to give back.

It all ties together. When you’re living a life based on your own values and are focused on relationships and experiences instead of “stuff,” you’ll find that you want to leave a legacy that’s more substantial than a nice house and car. And giving back (either with our time or our money) has been shown to increase our happiness.

 Despite our national tendency to overspend, I am encouraged that the pendulum seems to be swinging back toward financial responsibility. I point to a recent study showing that millennials (also called Generation Y, born between 1980 and 2000) are funding Roth IRAs at a higher rate than older generations.

Apparently they were paying attention during the 2008 financial crisis.  They saw how their parents, friends, and neighbors were severely impacted, and they are now more likely to save for the future.

No matter what generation you belong to, though, remember that a truly rich life is based on strong relationships with friends and family, giving back to our community, expressing ourselves creatively, leading healthy yet simple lifestyles, and spending our money in a way that is in alignment with our values.

About the Author:

Donna Skeels Cygan, CFP^®, MBA, is the owner of the financial advisory firm Sage Future Financial, LLC, and the author of The Joy of Financial Security: The art and science of becoming happier, managing your money wisely, and creating a secure financial future. She has been recognized numerous times as one of the top financial advisors in the U.S. She seeks to help her clients take control of their money in a way that maximizes their happiness.

Cygan has contributed to articles and has been quoted in national newspapers and magazines, including the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, Forbes, Kiplinger’s, and Investment News. She has appeared on TV programs in New York, Seattle, Portland, Phoenix, Minneapolis, and Memphis, as well as on many radio shows across the U.S. She also enjoys speaking on many topics related to money and happiness. To learn more, visit www.joyoffinancialsecurity.com.  

About the Book:

The Joy of Financial Security: The art and science of becoming happier, managing your money wisely, and creating a secure financial future (Sage Future Press, 2013, ISBN: 978-0-989-77844-2, $24.95, www.joyoffinancialsecurity.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.

Don’t Stick Stuff Up Your Nose! How to Keep Your Child From Putting Things Where They Don’t Belong and What to Do If It Happens

By Dr. Jerald Altman

Picture this: During dinner on a quiet Wednesday night, your two-year-old, Sarah, begins complaining that her nose hurts as she starts to cry. You lean over to take a look, hoping that she’s not coming down with a cold. And then you see it. Your blood runs cold as you realize that while Sarah watched her older sister make beaded bracelets that afternoon, she must have shoved at least one bead up her nose. Chaos ensues.

You frantically search for tweezers while your spouse throws pepper in Sarah’s face, trying to make her sneeze. You beg Sarah to sit still as you try to pull the bead out, but you end up only pushing it farther into her nasal passage. Finally, you throw everyone in the car and race to the ER, where you watch in amazement as the doctor pulls not one, not two, but three pink beads out of your daughter’s nostril.

If this scenario sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I am frequently the doctor in this story, and just as often, youngsters stuff unexpected objects into their ears, too.

The “why” is simple: Kids stick stuff where it doesn’t belong because they’re experiential learners and because they’re naturally curious—about what it feels like, and about what will happen. Some children may also be motivated by the fact that they know it’s naughty, or because they think it’ll be funny. Trust me, I’ve seen it all in noses and ears: rocks, candy, paper, peanuts, crayons, buttons, and beads…and the list just gets weirder from there!

One thing’s for sure: Kids don’t anticipate the dangers (or, usually, the parental panic) that comes with a Lego lodged in a nostril or a pea shoved into an ear. And by the time parents become aware of the problem, it’s definitely no laughing matter.

Foreign (and often dirty) objects in a child’s nose or ears can lead to serious health risks. Those range from infections to blocked airways to punctured eardrums…things neither you nor your child wants to experience. And, of course, there’s the expense: co-pays, deductibles, and at times, general anesthesia.

Children under four are most at risk of getting into trouble with small objects. And that’s the general age range I target in Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff In Your Ears!, which is written for children ages two to six. With colorful illustrations and fun rhymes, this 22-page board book is the perfect way to teach your child not to put dangerous objects where they don’t belong.

              Here, I share several prevention tips—and advise parents on how to proceed if something does get stuck in a little nose or ear.

How to Prevent Sticking and Stuffing From Happening

Talk about it. The best way to avoid a “What’s that in your nose?” crisis is to take the most direct approach: Talk to your child. Especially if you’ve noticed that your child has a tendency to put things up his nose or in his ears, explain to him that this is a major no-no. If it’s age-appropriate, emphasize the danger of putting things where they don’t belong and discuss what the consequences might be. This is where Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff In Your Ears! comes in handy: It gives parents a way to talk about ear and nose safety in a way that’s fun, memorable, and doesn’t feel like a lecture. (Your kids might even ask for repeat reads.)

Prevention and awareness are key. Often, kids are more receptive to this type of advice when you keep the conversation positive. And remember that it’s important to make this a family discussion. Teach older siblings that a baby’s ears and nose are delicate and that they’re not for poking things into.

Look at your house from your child’s point of view. Once or twice a day, it’s a good idea to check the floor, low tables, and under pieces of furniture for jewelry, toys, keys, and other small objects that may have accumulated. The more items that are out of place, the greater the risk to your child.

Stoop down (or even get down on your hands and knees!) and take a fresh look at your home from your child’s vantage point. Keep your eyes peeled for smaller objects that curious young hands (and noses and ears) might find interesting. If the temptation isn’t there, your child can’t stuff it where it doesn’t belong!

Store small objects out of reach. Once a child becomes mobile, it’s smart for parents and grandparents to thoroughly childproof their homes. From a small-object standpoint, I suggest taking no chances. Childproof latching mechanisms and locked containers are more than worth their price in terms of the stress they can save you.

Be sure to err on the side of caution. After the fact, so many parents say, “I had no idea my child could reach that high, or pull out that drawer, or climb up there.” You don’t want to wait for a visit to the ER to find out just how athletic your little one actually is! Specifically, I recommend keeping the following items in a high cabinet since they’re common up-the-nose or in-the-ear culprits: popcorn, peas, nuts, marbles, buttons, beads, batteries, magnets, toys with removable parts, safety pins, and coins. Oh, and one more piece of advice: Don’t forget about your trash can. Preschoolers don’t always share our aversion to digging through garbage!

Keep your eye on them. Our hectic, on-the-go, multi-tasking lives make it impossible to closely supervise our children every second of every day. That said, a watchful eye is still one of the best defenses against sticking and stuffing.

In particular, watch small children while they eat, since they naturally like to experiment and play with food. Encourage your child to sit quietly when eating and drinking. Sometimes, she may even listen! (Hey, I’m a parent of three; I know how this goes.) Another time to be especially vigilant is when your children are playing outdoors, since it’s impossible to childproof Mother Nature. Your watchful eye, coupled with an age-appropriate warning, can keep seeds, plant material, pebbles, sand, and other small outdoor objects from finding their way into ears or noses.

What to Do If Something Is Stuck or Stuffed

Know the signs. When a foreign object finds its way into a nostril or ear, you can’t always count on your child to tell you. An older child might be embarrassed or afraid of punishment. And a toddler might not even make the connection between the eraser he stuffed up his nose several hours ago and the discomfort he’s feeling now. That’s why it’s important to be able to recognize signs that something might be amiss.

If your child has stuffed something up his nose, he might complain of pain, his nose might bleed, or he might have bad breath. If he has stuck something in his ear, he might complain of ear pain, have smelly or bloody drainage, redness, or reduced hearing.

Don’t panic. The realization that There’s a piece of kibble in my daughter’s nose! or She has a dime in her ear! can make your blood run cold. Yes, these situations are scary, but I promise that this happens all the time. So count to ten and calm down a bit before leaping into action.

Panicking will only make a bad situation worse. Take a deep breath and evaluate the situation. Ask your child what happened and if she’s in pain. Then, take a look and decide how best to proceed.

If possible, remove the object. If you’re fortunate, your child’s former “toy” will be fairly easy to dislodge. In other words, you don’t have to make a beeline for the doctor’s office the minute you notice something in a nostril or ear that shouldn’t be there.

If you can see the foreign body in the ear or nose and it appears easy to remove, you can try to carefully do so using tweezers. Tilt the head downward to remove a nasal foreign body, or to the left or right depending on which ear contains the foreign body, so that gravity helps the object fall out. Never poke at the ear or try to remove the object by force, though. You might inadvertently push the foreign body further back, which could make it fall into the windpipe and cause breathing problems, or injure the inner ear.

Call the doctor. If you’re unsure about your ability to unclog your child’s nostril or ear yourself, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and let a medical professional do the honors.

If the object is difficult to remove or cannot be clearly seen, or if your child is in pain, call your healthcare provider first. When you explain the situation, they’ll be able to tell you if you should come in or go straight to the ER. In some cases, the doctor or nurse on call may even be able to talk you through an at-home extraction.

            Try your best to help your kids understand that noses and ears are off-limits areas and to keep temptations out of the reach of little hands. And if sticking or stuffing happens anyway, don’t beat yourself up. As I’ve already mentioned, this happens all the time and does not make you a negligent parent—it just makes your kid a typical kid. Think about it this way: Years from now, after your panic has subsided, you’ll have a lot of fun telling Junior’s prom date about the time he decided to temporarily store a dandelion in his left nostril!

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About the Authors:

Dr. Jerald Altman is the coauthor of Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff In Your Ears! He is an otolaryngologist-head and neck surgeon (ENT doctor) and was recognized as a Phoenix Top Doc in 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013. Dr. Altman loves taking care of children’s ear, nose, and throat issues. After publishing many peer-reviewed journal articles, he recognized the need for a children’s book dealing with a common problem in his practice.

Dr. Altman is married with three children and lives in a suburb of Phoenix. He enjoys woodturning as a hobby and climbs Camelback Mountain regularly.

Richard Jacobson is the coauthor of Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff In Your Ears! He studied architecture at Yale University and has spent most of his adult life designing interiors, landscapes, tablescapes, clothing, and just about anything else that can be fashioned in a creative way. He lives in Phoenix, Arizona, but since he travels extensively to play in duplicate bridge tournaments, he climbs considerably fewer mountains than his coauthor. Jacobson enjoys training dogs, birds, and topiaries in his spare time.

About the Book:

Don’t Stick Sticks Up Your Nose! Don’t Stuff Stuff In Your Ears! (ZonaBooks, LLC, 2013, ISBN: 978-0-988-88610-0, $12.50, www.dontstickdontstuff.com) is available at www.dontstickdontstuff.com and Amazon.

Enjoy "Seuss at Sea" With Carnival Cruises

By Becky J. Beall

Seven years ago I was privileged to sail on the inaugural Carnival Freedom cruise to the Caribbean. I remember thinking it was so massive and full of extravagant at-sea activities. By today’s standards, it is not the largest ship on the water, but thanks to an extreme makeover and two weeks in dry dock, it is once again among the elite cruise ships sporting innovative technology, fabulous repurposed spaces and kids programs second to none!

Two weeks seems like a tiny bit of time. In fact, I can hardly paint a bathroom in that amount of time. But, non-stop, round-the-clock teams can transform a mega cruise liner in that time frame and leave vacationers speechless. This spring Carnival added its Fun Ship 2.0 Initiative to the Freedom including lots of bars, eateries and entertainment, but the most exciting addition is the Seuss at Sea Program!

Seuss at Sea…

Carnival’s partnership with Seuss Enterprises created the new Seuss at Sea program for families, a masterpiece in family entertainment. Carnival Freedom is the first ship to feature Bookville, a dedicated Seuss-themed play space featuring iconic décor, colors, shapes and funky furniture inspired by the whimsical world of Dr. Seuss. Bookville is the perfect place for families to relax and read beloved Dr. Seuss books or enjoy family-fun activities such as arts and crafts, toys and Dr. Seuss-inspired games.

Bookville is located at the entrance to Camp Ocean, another renovated area on board. Formerly known as Camp Carnival, the unique kid’s club is redesigned with areas that are age-specific and appropriately named penguins, stingrays and sharks! The kid’s love it! From dance floors to space for arts and crafts and even video games, Camp Ocean is created for fun and exciting times at sea.

Seuss-a-palooza Character Parade and Story Time is an awesome opportunity for families to don parade props and noise makers, and march along the ship’s promenade chanting “Dr. Seuss is on the loose!” Oh, and did I mention that Cat and the Hat, Thing 1 and Thing 2, and Sam will be joining the parade as well? The parade will conclude in one of the ship’s theater rooms with children sitting on the stage and parents in the audience. The ship’s cruise director will lead an interactive dramatic reading of Cat and the Hat that is not to be missed!

Admittedly, I had concerns about whether or not Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast with Cat and the Hat and Friends could hold a candle to other character breakfasts I have attended throughout the years with my children. My reasons? Well, for starters, it is only a $5/per person upcharge and most of these type events typically run anywhere from $29.99 - $59.99, so I assumed the price reflected the value that I should expect. I was WRONG!! This is by far one of the best values at sea for families and might just be the highlight of your vacation!

When you arrive at the breakfast (you must have a reservation) you will be blown away by an amazing Cat in the Hat ice sculpture surrounded by themed colors and life-size cutouts of other characters. The tablescapes are completely over-the-top with pops of blue and red that resonate with Dr. Seuss’ Cat in the Hat, and the characters (Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 and Thing 2 and Sam) eagerly await meet and greets with the kids (old and young alike)! And then there’s the menu…oh the menu! The cutest thing you have ever seen! The laminated book-like menu tells of its offerings in poetic format reminiscent of the author himself! I won’t take away the surprises, but I will remind you to be sure and reserve a table for this event as soon as you arrive onboard, as you do not want to miss this extravaganza!

Ports of call…

There are several itineraries on the Freedom ship, but all are Caribbean. You’ll have some sort of excellent combination of ports that could include one or more of the following: Grand Turk, La Romana (Dominican Republic), Curacao, Aruba, Grand Cayman, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and more. All offer stunning beaches, snorkeling and shopping, so you really can’t go wrong with any of them. I will say that Grand Turk offers a free public beach right off the pier with clean bathrooms, shopping and food closeby, so it is easy to enjoy this port without booking an excursion.

For more information on Carnival ships, itineraries or to book a cruise, visit www.carnival.com or call your favorite travel agent.

Becky J. Beall is a freelance travel journalist, radio host and television personality. You can follow her blog at www.thetravelvoicebybecky.com where you’ll have access to her podcasts and social media platforms. 

Hot Coupon Alert!

 

By Becky J. Beall

 

If you are anything like me, your day begins with a hot cup of coffee...with creamer! Not just any creamer, but something that compliments my coffee. One that I really like is Coffee Mate French Vanilla, and I have found a wonderful deal to stock up on it.

 

This week Target has 16 oz. Coffee Mate creamer on sale 2/$3 plus Coffee Mate's Facebook page has $1 off coupon that you can print (you can print two of them). And on top of that, Target's cartwheel app has a 5% off coupon for it! Can you say $.42 a bottle?

 

Here is the Facebook link for Coffee Mate (look for the coupon tab):https://www.facebook.com/CoffeemateUSA/app_137656902971961

 

Don't know about the Cartwheel App from Target? Go to your app store on your smart phone and search cartwheel. Download (for free) and start using! Find coupons for items in grocery, clothing and almost anywhere in the store! You can even scan the barcode of an item to see if there is a cartwheel coupon for it. When you find a coupon you want to use, click the ADD button. On the drop-down menu, you will find the button for your barcode. When you check out, show the cashier the barcode to scan and the savings will appear just like magic! Every time you ADD a coupon, it is available (until it expires) on the scannable bar code. So easy!

 

Enjoy that cup of coffee!

The Thing About Rental Cars - Part 2

(AND A GIVEAWAY AT THE END OF THE STORY!!!!!)

By John Graham, guest blogger

A new car is exciting and there is something about the new car experience that only a new car provides. The smell of new leather (or leatherette?). The thunk sound of a solid shutting door. The smell of the engine, heater, air conditioner as they reach maximum

operating temperatures for the first time produces a magical experience. The issue for most is that the experience comes once every 4 or 5 years. More frequently for those with 6 or 7 digits in their savings account balance. Even then for most it is a rare event.

In enters the rental car. If you travel a lot you get to experience a new car each and every week, sometimes two or three in a single week. While all of the cars are not brand new, most of them have fewer miles than the one back home. Last week we discussed they types of cars to rent. This week let’s focus on the excitement, or, the lack thereof, of the actual car you get when you arrive at your destination.

My company uses Hertz as our primary rental company. I generally rent a mid-size, or standard car. Remember, this is a 4-door compact with five seat belts. Go with a full-size and you are looking at the general family/co-worker hauler. Regardless of category some cars are almost fun and some coma inducing. A Maxima or Kia Optima turbo or a high end Hyundai for a couple of days can be fun as they have enough horsepower and gadgets to make the driving at least entertaining. You also may be punished with an Impala or an Altima that lack gadgets and horsepower and essentially represent cars where the engineers are told:

   

‘This year, make the car 10% more boring and if you can hit 12%, bonuses all around!’ 

Let’s not focus on the actual brand of car but instead on the feelings you experience as you get off the plane. You may be picturing yourself in a Mercedes SLS roadster driving down the highway with the top down, sun shining and the wind blowing through your hair (hey, it’s my imagination and I am allowed to visualize myself with hair!). Since I generally rent in the same category, I generally get the same cars. A Ford Fusion (which is nice), the Toyota Camr…(oh, sorry, fell asleep there), most often the Chevrolet Impala. 

After I land I get an e-mail from Hertz telling me what my rental will be. Often I won’t even open the message. I like to wait until I get to the rental agency itself so the surprise lasts longer. I look at the Gold Club board to see what slot my car sits in. As I stroll to my space I look at all the cool cars I pass getting to mine. I dream that maybe, this time, I will I get a Mustang or Camaro or maybe something from across the ocean like a Volvo or maybe a Mercedes.

As I continue down the aisle I anxiously peek over the top of the of the other vehicles looking for my car. Being honest, I also hope I won’t actually see my car because, like birthday and Christmas presents, once I know what the gift, or the car in this case, is, the anticipation and surprise is over.My car may be four or five aisles over and as I pass fun little Fiats or Kia Souls or some other model that I have never driven I assume they will be more fun than my rental. 

As I near slot 761 and still my car remains unseen between the two ginormous SUVs, my anticipation grows. If it is between two expensive to rent Super-size Me’s it must be nice, right? I see my name on the board above the car. This baby will definitely be mine, and what do I find, blazing forth in its full glory? A, wait for it, the car I have been anxiously wondering about since the reservation was made two weeks ago. It is, it is…

A tan Camry.

Yep, that’s right, tan and Camry. Two of the most unexciting words in our language and when put together multiply the dullness  by 263 -- Yes, I have calculated the boringness factor of those words combined and 263 is correct.

Sigh…

Maybe not all is lost? Maybe the car is top of the line! Yes,that’s it, definitely top of the line. I look for the telltale signs that spell ‘F-A-N-C-Y’. Aluminum wheels? No. Extra chrome? No. Body colored bumpers? No. Still not hopeless, maybe the money was spent on interior features. I open the door looking for tan leather, moon roof, built-in GPS, and a digital dash. No, no, no and no again. The tan cloth interior, analog gauges, manual AC/heater controls, and radio with 6 whole buttons to push face me with almost the same gloom that I feel. Sigh again…I look back across the garage and there, just 4 stalls over, a Hemi Charger. 

A Cadillac SRX and a bright orange Challenger just two rows over and all, so close, yet so far. Maybe there is something better in the Gold Choice area? Maybe I should go back and see what else they have available? But my spirit is broken, I have opened a black belt and socks as my Christmas gift. With depression at 110 percent, I give up and load my luggage into the trunk, climb into the driver’s seat, and drive away. 

  

Even the Camry seems sad to be a Camry.

  

I pull out of the lot, popping Benzadrine to remain conscious and I realize that at least I don’t own this car and it is only for a couple days. Besides, I am traveling to Dallas on Thursday. I fondly remember the Camaro SS convertible with only 6 miles on the odometer that once awaited my arrival. Imagining my Camry is a Ferrari I smile -- almost.

That’s the thing about rental cars, getting the one you really want is like dessert at a church pot luck, sometimes it is Sinful Chocolate Decadence and sometimes it is red jello with beets.

Blog followers this month are entered into a giveaway for four tickets to Vulcan Park!  Deadline to follow the blog and "enter" is Aug. 15, when the tickets will be given away to one follower!  www.visitvulcan.com.