What About Twilight?

My teenage daughter loved the book. I haven't read a word. Adults in our office love it. And now, there's a moving coming out Friday.

Like Harry Potter, Twilight has its controversies. I don't honestly know myself, but I and other parents would like to hear from you, especially once some of you see it.

A fellow publisher of mine, Donna Jefferson, publisher of Chesapeake Family, submits this for our blog:
Twilight: What You Need to Know
By Donna Jefferson
Publisher, Chesapeake Family
Hearing that there is a series of books that moms and daughters have not only been reading together but actually devouring, I was curious. Pairs would pre-order the next book, stand in line at midnight to receive their latest installment and rush home to spend the next few days together totally consumed in the story. I had to learn more about these books. (OK, I know that if you have already read the books you will be rolling your eyes with my choice of words, devouring and consumed. I just couldn’t resist.)
My daughter Janet and I like many of the same books and authors. Barbara Kingsolver has held us spellbound with her detailed stories about life and nature. Marley and Me had us laughing out loud and later sobbing at the end of the story. Three Cups of Tea inspired us to wait hours in line to meet author Greg Mortensen and hear him tell his story in person. Another series of books to share would be a treat. So with great enthusiasm I bought the first installment of the Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer. I was further encouraged when the sales clerk, with a great forlorn kind of sigh, told me how much I would enjoy the book.
I read all four books of the series over the course of three months and now, here’s the truth: I really dislike these books and I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone much less a teenage or even worse, preteen girl. I shudder when I think of all the hype this book and upcoming movie have received. I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why moms feel compelled to encourage the reading of these stories.
If you haven’t heard the details yet the Twilight series, by author Stephenie Meyer, is based on the story of Isabella “Bella” Swan, her divorced parents; police chief father Charlie and newly re-married mother Renee, and Bella’s boyfriend Edward Cullen. Bella had been living with her mother in Phoenix since she was six months old and her parents separated. Renee remarries and, at seventeen, Bella feels like a fifth wheel so she moves from Phoenix to live with her dad in Forks, Washington — giving the newlyweds their space.
Bella meets Edward in school and it just so happens that he’s a vampire although Bella seems to be the only one in Forks who figures this out. Vampire code forbids vampires from disclosing the fact that they are vampires. Spoiler Alert: If a mortal learns the truth about vampires, the mortal either has to be killed or turned into a vampire. This creates problems in future books.
It’s pretty much love at first sight except for the week or so when Edward tries to avoid Bella since she smells good enough to eat and he’s afraid he will. Of course that’s a problem; not only for the obvious reasons, but especially since Edward and the family of vampires he has been living with for the last century or so have sworn off humans and only eat wild animals.
Bella figures out the truth about the “cold ones,” which include Edward, from her Native American friend Billy when he tells her some of his tribe’s ancient legends. One legend claims that the Quileutes, Billy’s tribe, descended from wolves and there is still another legend about the “cold ones,” natural enemies of the wolf – “well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves…But this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather’s time was different. They didn’t hunt the way others of their kind did – they weren’t supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn’t expose them to the pale-faces.”
A large part of the book dwells on Bella learning about Edward and his family and the uniqueness of being a vampire. It’s pretty typical character development if you overlook the vampire thing and their special talents. During a midnight baseball game with Edward’s family, Bella is exposed to a pack of human-eating vampires and for the remainder of the book Edward is kept busy protecting Bella from a renegade vampire who is out to get her.
Now for some of the things that many moms aren’t going to like. This is Bella describing herself, “it wasn’t just physically that I’d never fit in. And if I couldn’t find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here? I didn’t relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page.”
Despite Bella feeling like an outsider, which probably half of all teens do, Bella had three potential boyfriends the first day she went to school as well as a number of girls to hang out with. If you are a geeky outsider how do you fit in so quickly and land the most handsome mysterious boy at school? How is this going to make the reader feel?
Bella is supposedly very close to her mother. She says of her mom, “She’s more outgoing than I am, and braver. She’s irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she’s a very unpredictable cook. She’s my best friend.” But Bella rarely speaks to her mom on the phone and only occasionally emails her since she has to use a slow dial-up land line. She keeps Edward a secret from her mom for a long time. What mom is going to go without talking to her seventeen-year-old at least on a daily basis? And it is NOT okay to keep secrets from mom.
Then there is Bella’s dad Charlie. He is the chief of police and about the most clueless dad in the state of Washington. Bella takes care of his dinner and washing his clothes like he is the child. She also hides her relationship with Edward from Charlie. She often lies about where she is going saying, “With Charlie, less is always more. I was definite about that.” Both of Bella’s parents are portrayed as complete imbeciles that Bella has no problem deceiving.
Early in their relationship Edward uses the key under the front doormat to break into Bella’s house, “I was curious about you,” he said. Then Bella discovers that Edward had been looking through her bedroom window watching her sleep. Her biggest concern was that Edward overheard her talking in her sleep and that she had said something embarrassing. Most parents would find this very creepy and call the police to have Edward put in jail.
After Bella discovered that Edward had been peeking through the window she decided he should just start spending the nights with her and at one point she “regrets not packing the Victoria’s Secret silk pajamas my mother got me two birthdays ago.” Bella is seventeen and in eleventh grade, deceiving her parents and having her boyfriend spend the night on a routine basis. The only reason they don’t have sex in the first book is because Edward is afraid he might get too excited, lose control and kill Bella by accident.
If this isn’t enough to make a parent cringe, Bella is supposed to be an honor student taking AP classes, but she routinely makes poor decisions and Edward is constantly swooping in to save her. Much of the time she follows Edward’s lead without question.
If your kids want to read the books, then by all means read with them so that you can explain to them that they better not ever behave the way Bella does.

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Who says nothing is free?

Stay-at-Home Dads

I recently received this e-mail and permission to share it on the blog:

Hi Carol,
>
> I love Birmingham Parent magazine! I saw in your most recent issue the
> article about Organized Playgroups. There are so many options out there for
> stay-at-home moms, but what about stay-at-home dads? My husband is a new
> stay-at-home dad to our almost 8-month old daughter. We've been keeping on
> eye out for a dads group - or just a general playgroup open to either
> parent. Have you heard of any such groups? It would be great to see an
> article about stay-at-home dads and how they can get involved in a future
> issue of Birmingham Parent!
>
> Thanks!
> Erika Cagle

We're BACK!

Yes, I bet you thought our blog had died a slow death. It almost did. It's been nearly a year since a post was made. But we're revived, and back!

Still,I need your help! For the blog to be a success, please let me know what YOU want to discuss. I welcome your comments, questions, criticisms, whatever. This blog is for Birmingham-area parents to have an open forum to discuss.

Let us hear from you!!!

Carol Evans
publisher/editor
carol@birminghamparent.com

Did the Birth Control Story in Oct. Issue Offend You?

I received this letter earlier today, and following it is my response. I put it here, because I want to know what YOU think. And did it offend you? How would you explain the teaser on the front to your child if she or he asked about it?

LETTER

Dear Carol:>
> I have been a reader of your publication "Birmingham Parent" since my family
> relocated to Alabama 7 years ago. I have always enjoyed your magazine. That
is
> until I picked up the October 2007 issue in the Pelham Public Library and was
> astonished to find on the front cover a reference for an article entitled
"Birth Control for Busy Moms."
>
> I am saddened and disappointed that a magazine that purports to be about
> parents, families, and children would actually have an article in it that is
> about birth control - much less to have it blatantly advertised on the front
> cover. You'd best hope that these "busy moms" don't take you too literally or
> there won't be much need for a publication aimed at parents. In addition to
> this most unbiblical article on birth control I find it disturbing that I now
> have to censor this magazine from my children. This I would expect from
> something trashy like "Cosmopolitan" or "The Enquirer" - but from "Birmingham
> Parent??" In case you are not aware - children as young as 1st and 2nd grade
> are more than capable of reading what is printed on your front cover. I don't
> really think I should have to try to explain to my 7 year old daughter what
> birth control is when we haven't even had the "birds & bees" talk yet. I find
> it truly appalling that you would take something as sacred and private as the
> marriage act to be the basis of one of your feature articles.
>
> I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to support your publication in the
future
> - nor the people who advertise in it. I'll be sure to let my friends know as
> well - in case they unwittingly pass by this magazine with their young
children
> in tow. In future, I sincerely hope you will be more careful about what you
> consider to be appropriate for your publication.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Monica Duvall

EDITOR'S RESPONSE:

Dear Monica,
Thank you for your honest opinion. I appreciate it very much. I am truly sorry
you were offended by the story in our Oct. issue. That is never our intent.

I am also sorry that you will let one story discourage you from picking up our
magazine again. If you use those standards with other publications, you will
probably not be able to read media including the newspaper or watch the news.
And you will always find things you disagree with, no matter what you read.

Our magazine has never been a children's magazine -- it is for parents, so we
try to offer subjects we believe our readers are interested in. I believe we
are an excellent local resource for parents -- but that is the point, it's for
parents. This topic was something that was proposed to us and some readers had
an interest in. I think it was handled tastefully, though it was definitely an
adult subject -- not a child's one. Just a year or so ago, we did a series on
online predators -- definitely NOT a subject for children to see or look at due
to the things we discussed, but still very important for PARENTS to know about.
I hope that your child did not read those stories, either.

I am so sorry if it caused a problem for you with your child. I do take to heart
your complaint, and we will reconsider the language we use on our cover in the
future. However, we have to present subjects of interest to the parents, so I
doubt that part of the process will change, though will we always try to provide
such subjects in a tasteful, considerate way.

Again, many thanks for making your opinion known.

Sincerely,
Carol Muse Evans
Publisher, Birmingham Parent


Now, what do you think of the article? The reader's letter? Our response? We want to hear from you?

Correction - Homeless Blog

Correction - the 30-plus churches feed the homeless daily downtown "under the bridge." Not simply every Thursday. Thanks to my husband for correcting me on this.

Feeding the Homeless - Helping, or Enabling?

In a recent interview with Fox 6's Ashley Nix, a city of Birmingham official said that the efforts of some area churches to feed the homeless on regular basis downtown near the BJCC was "enabling them to remain homeless," rather than truly helping them.

What do you think?

While I see his point (it is better to teach a man to fish than to simply give him a fish), I would also like to know his solution to fixing their homelessness. I'm sure many churches, like my home church, would like fresh, new ideas on how to help the homeless find jobs, resolve mental, physical and addiction issues, and find a place to call home. But every homeless person has a different story that led them to where they are today, and it may not be that simple. Yet, their need to fill their bellies is immediate.

I think we have to help meet the needs of those in need -- and my religious convictions lead me to believe if I do that, it's the same as if I was doing it for God. I'm not saying give them money -- but a meal when they are hungry.

My home church does it once a month. While my husband and 14-year-old son have gone and helped numerous times, my daughter and I did it for the first time last week. I think we were probably more "rewarded" by our efforts than possibly the people we were there to help. And it made us more grateful people, and more humble, at least for a little while.

What do you think? Why?

We want to hear from you!