HOLIDAY RETURNS - HOW TO MAKE THEM PAINLESS!

By Andrea Woroch
Guest Blogger

With just a few short shopping days 'til Christmas, returning items while you're still in the process of buying gifts is likely not top-of-mind. However, it's important to know your options after all the presents are unwrapped and those that didn't hit the mark are revealed.

According to a recent survey by the National Retail Federation, 83.1 percent of retailers, indicated their return policies wouldn't change much during the holiday season. In fact, more than 10 percent of stores said they'd make it easier for shoppers and ill-received gift recipients to return unwanted merchandise.
Whether it's a return or exchange you have to handle, these six tips will help make the process less of a hassle.

1. Review Return Policies
First things first: take stock of the items you don't want and review return policies for the stores from whence they came. If it's an online return, be sure the original packaging isn't tossed out with crumpled gift wrap. Ideally, you can get all your returns knocked out in one day as soon after Christmas as possible.

2. Exchange Cards for Cash
Since 81 percent of shoppers intend to buy a gift card during the holidays, it stands to reason a few of these will miss the mark. Happily, unsatisfied gift card recipients can exchange their card for cash on the aptly-named Gift Card Exchange Day scheduled for Wednesday, Dec. 26. Gift cards can be sold for up to 92 percent of their value, or in exchange for an Amazon gift card.

3. Organize Receipts
The best way to ensure hassle-free returns is to have your gift receipt or purchase confirmation handy. For quick access, download the OneReciept app to digitally store all your receipts. If you're returning something you purchased yourself, some stores like Banana Republic keep transaction histories which they can reference in lieu of a receipt.

4. Return to Store
If possible, try to dodge return shipping fees by returning an item in store. While this option is obviously not available for online-only purchases, most top retailers like Target, Walmart and Best Buy will accept merchandise returns for items purchased online. If you are doomed to ship the merchandise back to the online store, avoid long lines at the post office on January 3; this is historically the busiest day to return unwanted gifts by mail.

5. Card Protection
If you're missing receipts or attempting to return past a limited-time period, call your credit card company. Many cards offer extended return protection and other helpful return options for purchases made with the card. You will likely need to send the merchandise directly to the credit card issuer, but they will usually cover shipping costs. Just make sure the goods are in like-new condition.

6. Exchange Plus
Returning something is never a fun task, but it's certainly more bearable when you're exchanging it for something you like more. If that's the case, be sure to stretch your returned dollars with coupons. You can expect an abundance of end-of-year sales and promotions from your favorite stores, so hit the shops early for the best inventory.



- Andrea Woroch is a nationally-recognized consumer and money-saving expert who helps consumers live on less without radically changing their lifestyles. From smart spending tips to personal finance advice, Andrea transforms everyday consumers into savvy shoppers. She has been featured among top news outlets such as Good Morning America, NBC's Today, MSNBC, New York Times, Kiplinger Personal Finance, CNNMoney and many more. You can follow her on Twitter for daily savings advice and tips.

A Deep Blue Christmas: Dealing with Extreme Grief at the Holidays

For those who’ve recently lost someone they deeply loved, this is the season

of struggles. I explain how to grieve when the world is trimming trees and singing carols.

By Arleah Shechtman

Guest Blogger

Most people agree: There’s an undercurrent of sadness to the holidays. We’ve all experienced losses, and residual grief tends to resurface when the garland goes up, the menorah is lit, and we notice grandma’s empty chair. But what if you’re suffering a fresh, profound loss? What if a spouse, a best friend, or—God forbid—a child has died during the past year?

While it’s hard to quantify grief, to say “my loss trumps your loss,” we all know there are losses that sadden and there are losses that devastate.  And the first Christmas or Hanukkah after a devastating loss—really any “first” without the loved one—can be almost unbearably painful.

My new book, My Beloved Child: My journey since the death of my daughter, traces my grief journey since my daughter’s death 35 years ago. In my experience, the holidays create idealized expectations that can’t possibly be met. For those experiencing extreme grief, the holidays aren’t just a letdown; they’re a painful reminder of what you no longer have.

I remember being so angry that first Christmas because everyone was laughing and sharing and I had to visit my child at the cemetery.

So how can those suffering from extreme grief survive the holidays? Here are a few tips:

Break down when you need to break down. (Yes, even in the middle of the office Christmas party.) Grief doesn’t always arrive at convenient times, but it shouldn’t be squelched. Find a bathroom or go outside, but cry and scream if you have to. 

Never fake it. Never soldier through it. Only by “riding the waves” of grief, even when it makes others uncomfortable, can you ever begin to heal.

If you feel like going to the holiday event, go. If you don’t, don’t. Grief ebbs and flows, and often after a period of intense crying you will feel okay for a while. If you’re in an “ebb” and think you might enjoy a candlelight service, then go. Take grief as it comes.

Forget seasonal “obligations.” Take care of yourself first. If you just can’t show up for a holiday dinner, it’s okay. If you can’t face shopping for your grandchildren, don’t. They have too much stuff anyway! Those who care about you will understand.

When you need to, call someone on your “List of 10.” Historically, extreme loss was handled in the context of family, friends, church, and community. In our current culture, families are scattered and fragmented, and communities and churches have been devalued. That’s why I suggest cobbling together a list of 10 people you trust who agree to be there when you need them—even at 2 a.m.

After Sharon died I would call the people on my list, one by one, to see if they were up to my grief at the moment. Grief requires comfort, a hard thing to keep asking for.

Find a way to honor your lost loved one during the holidays. Hang a stocking for her.  Prepare his favorite meal. Do something meaningful to bring the person’s presence into the holidays.

These rituals help you process the loss rather than trying to squelch or deny it.

Do something that brings you pleasure or comfort (even if it isn’t holiday-related). Go for a snowy hike, visit a spa, or pet cats at the local animal shelter. The fact that you’re grieving doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life.

This last point is the hardest to believe, but it’s true. You’ll think, I’ll never be happy again. You will. Maybe not this Christmas or Hanukkah. Maybe not next year. But eventually, you will.

Making the choice to grieve—and it’s one you must make again and again for the rest of your life—expands your capacity for joy and brings new richness to relationships. If nothing else sustains you this holiday season, hold on to this. Life will never be the same, but it will be good again.

# # #

About the Author:

Arleah Shechtman, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., is the author of My Beloved Child: My journey since the death of my daughter (Fifth Wave Leadership Publications, 2012, ISBN: 978-1-4750469-9-1, $13.95). She is a recognized expert on the impact of the death of a child, on marriages, families, and individual survivors.  

How to Have a Wickedly Successful New Year

 Nine Strategies to Help

You Stop Enduring and Start Creating a Life That REALLY Works

Looking for something with more impact (and sticking power) than the usual

doomed-to-fail resolutions? I want you to make 2013 the

year you finally buck up and start living the life YOU want to live!

By Vickie Milazzo

Guest Blogger

The year 2012 is drawing to a close and, for many recession-wracked American women, it feels like just another mile marker in an endurance race going nowhere. Depressing, but true. We trudge through the week at a dreary job, drive home fretting about money, and spend our evenings robot-walking through the usual haze of homework battles and half-finished chores. Passion and fulfillment? Nope, just sheer survival.  And the worst part is, most of us have meekly accepted that this is how it has to be right now.

I have a message for all you “endurers”: Buck up, girlfriend! You can do a lot more than (barely) get by—and 2013 can be the year you actually start living your life again.

I’m not talking about the kind of new year’s resolution that’s just wishful thinking pasted on top of your old lifestyle. I’m talking about truly changing the way you think about things, breaking old habits, putting some real boundaries in place and tapping into your determination.

I’m talking about taking responsibility for your own happiness. Don’t you think if someone was going to swoop in and rescue you it would already have happened?

I have earned the right to be a tough talker. In 1982 I faced the reality that I was unhappy with the direction my life had taken. I was a registered nurse with a bachelor’s and master’s degree. But after six short years of hospital experience, I felt like I was in a dead-end job. I still wanted to be a nurse, but on my own terms. Today I am the founder and CEO of a multi-million dollar legal nurse consulting education company.

It is possible to create a life that excites and energizes you. But first you have to make a conscious choice to step out of your old, unfulfilling one.  And it’s a choice you have to make over and over again—if you don’t your old patterns will suck you back in.

To achieve what I call “Wicked Success” you have to cultivate a new, wickedly resourceful mindset. I offer nine strategies that can help you do exactly that in 2013:

           

Break the feel-good addiction. Remember, where you focus is where you’ll yield results. And because we like to feel good, we gravitate toward what’s easy instead of what’s productive. We major in minor accomplishments, wasting time surfing the Internet, watching TV, hanging out on Facebook, trying to beat our high score on Angry Birds.

Here’s a news flash: There’s no real life prize for being great at Angry Birds. It’s time to let go of time-sucking distractions. The more superficial things you engage in the more superficial your life and accomplishments will be. So the next time you have a break at work or the next time all the kids are out of the house, instead of checking your email, Facebook or texts, use the time to take a step toward achieving one of your goals.

Stop being the Chief Everything Officer—don’t say “Yes” by default. It’s a hard lesson to learn but in order to be wickedly successful, you have to understand that by saying “no” to some things you will have the time and energy to say “yes” to the right things. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and pulled in every direction you won’t be able to lead yourself, much less anyone else.  

Stop committing your energy to every person or situation that demands it. You need to set your own expectations of what you want to accomplish. Don’t let your career or life take a backseat to everyone else’s. Yes, you have responsibilities to others. But you’ve also got a responsibility to yourself.

Do something big every day. You eat a whale the same way you eat an apple—one bite at a time. The wickedly successful understand that to accomplish any project you can’t expect to do it all at once.

This is often why our New Year’s resolutions don’t work out. You say, “I am going to lose 20 pounds!” And then you implement a new exercise regimen—or heck, just start actually exercising—and after two days of no weight loss you get discouraged. You aren’t going to achieve your goals over night. You have to work at it every day. Commit to doing something big every day towards that project or goal and you’ll reach it. Keep working out regularly and slowly but surely you’ll see the results. Find something you can improve and start improving it—one bite, one step, one day at a time.

Stop hanging with the biggest losers. When you choose to participate in negative behaviors they rub off on you. Think about it this way: If you’re struggling to achieve a goal, you shouldn’t hang out with someone else who is struggling to achieve that same goal. If you want to be great at golf, you don’t hang out with a bad golfer.

Successful people tend to hang out with other successful people, not with losers who whine about someone else’s success. Stick with the winners. The view from the top is meant to be shared. Find someone who’s already there to share it with, not someone who’s never seen it.

Expand what you’re willing to believe about yourself. Studies show that women will underestimate their own abilities, judging themselves lower than their skills prove, while men overestimate their abilities, judging themselves more competent. If you see yourself as powerless that’s what you will be. Anytime you find yourself entertaining doubts or trying to limit what you think is possible, remind yourself of your past successes. Let them infuse you with confidence and bolster your resolve.

Believing you can do it—whatever “it” is—is 90 percent of the win. When I walked into my first meeting with a potential client, my legs were literally shaking. I forced myself to remember that this attorney needed specialized knowledge that only I—a critical care nurse—could give him. That reminder didn’t banish all of my nervousness, but it did enable me to make the points I wanted with my first client. I learned that when you expand what you’re willing to believe about yourself, you can transform who you are and what your life looks like.

Don’t wait for conditions to be perfect. Along the way to becoming wickedly successful, you may have to redefine what success looks like for you. Conditions will never be perfect – there will always be something muddying the water, even if it’s just a little muddy.

The real challenge is accepting that you have to keep on giving your best even when things aren’t perfect. Misguided perfectionism can keep you from stepping out and going for what you want. Perfectionism can also rob you of the enjoyment of experiences. Distinguishing what does and doesn’t require perfection is the hallmark of wickedly successful women.

Surround yourself with as many successful mentors as possible. Inept coaches don’t fail to help you—they help you to fail. Look around you for others whose work you admire and model yourself after them instead.

Get out of the rut of your own habits. Take your advice from people with a proven positive track record. Accepting the leadership of others does not make you less capable of achieving your goals. It actually boosts your abilities. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. And when you get good advice, don’t be too proud to follow it.

Regenerate your passion for work. Do you remember why you wanted the career you have? There aren’t many jobs that offer easy hours and easy money, so that probably wasn’t it. It was probably the love you had for the profession whether you get to help people everyday, use your creativity, crunch numbers or whatever your passion is. Tap back into the frame of mind you had when you were just starting out. Ask yourself, What can I do to become passionate about work again?

When you take this inward look, it is entirely possible you’ll see the path ahead going in an unexpected direction. Your passion might lead you somewhere else. That’s what happened to me when I started my business. I was a registered nurse and I realized I wanted more passion, more joy in the part of my life that sucked up 10 hours every day. That journey led me to pioneer the profession of legal nurse consulting. You’ll know passion when you’ve found it because you’ll feel amazingly engaged and energetic. Desire will become energy and you’ll have plenty of it to create your new life—your real life.

Take care of yourself first. If you stepped back and looked at your daily routine objectively, as if it were happening to your best friend, what would be your advice? Slow down? Take a few deep breaths? Spend a few moments enjoying one day before another day crashes in with new demands?

We need to give ourselves such loving advice—and listen to it. We need to thrive, not just survive. To have healthy, exciting and fulfilling relationships with others, we must first have a healthy, exciting and fulfilling relationship with ourselves. Don’t be so busy taking care of others that you forget to take care of yourself. You can’t be your best self if you’re not your own self.

There’s no reason why 2013 can’t be your biggest, boldest, most wickedly successful year yet. But for that to happen you have to match your big goals with some real changes. You have to take on a wickedly successful mindset that doesn’t take “no” or “I can’t” or “I’m too tired” for an answer.

# # #

About the Author:

Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, is author of the New York Times bestseller Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman (Wiley, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-1181-0052-3, $21.95, WickedSuccess.com). From a shotgun house in New Orleans to owner of a $16-million business, Wall Street Journal best-selling author Milazzo shares the innovative suc­cess strategies that earned her a place on the Inc. list of Top 10 Entrepre­neurs and Inc. Top 5000 Fastest-Growing Companies in America.

Vickie is the owner of Vickie Milazzo Institute, an education company she founded in 1982. Featured in the New York Times as the pioneer of a new profession, she built a professional association of 5,000 members.

About the Book:

Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman (Wiley, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-1181-0052-3, $21.95, WickedSuccess.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.

7 Critical Conversations for the Season of Now

                                                                                                         

NEW BOOK BY PASTOR AND FINANCIAL PRO OFFERS ADVICE ON HOW TO  MAKE END-OF-LIFE PLANNING A GIFT TO THOSE LEFT BEHIND  

By Stan Craig 

Yes, you are here today.  You can pay your bills, plan dinner, get the kids off the bus, and take your parent to the doctor…. everything goes according to plan.  But what if you were gone tomorrow?  No warning, no planning, no you.  Gone. 

Based on the popular seminar the same name, ForeTalk: 7 Critical Conversations for the Season of Now, is a unique new book by Stan Craig, a financial and religious advisor, which will be released in February 2013.  It provides direction on how to outlive your life and create a positive and lasting legacy.  In ForeTalk, Craig offers levity and sensitivity while addressing an issue that no one wants to talk about—death.  From health care directives, durable powers of attorney, wills, hospice and ways to celebrate a life well-lived, to conversations about end-of-life issues, insurance, childcare, trusts and philanthropy, ForeTalk is the complete, must-have guide for anyone who has anything or anyone that will be left behind.  It encourages action on a topic that begets ignorance. 

“When my younger brother was dying of lung cancer, I quickly became aware of all the things we had never discussed during his forty one days of hospitalization,” said Craig.  “Even with all my experience as pastor and financial professional, I was totally unprepared and had no knowledge of all that is required when death comes unexpectedly to someone you love.  I couldn’t find guidance in any book.  ForeTalk has answers to help ease the anxiety that every family experiences when illness and death come near.”
ForeTalk is made up of nine easy-to-read and uncomplicated chapters.  Each chapter ends with a guide for the reader to complete.  There are seven critical conversations that we all must have with our loved ones—the messages apply to newlyweds, new parents, boomers, single people, veterans, anyone with a pet, the sick, healthy and the elderly.  Each of the seven is presented with ideas to make every conversation one of ease and grace.  The themes are complete with personal stories, humor, quotations and practical suggestions to help begin the dialogue. The seven critical conversations are designed to change what is often seen as a difficult task to a series of easy and meaningful conversations with those you care about most. From how to begin the conversations to how to make each day count, the chapters and guides make what was once difficult and challenging, a pleasant and life-affirming experience.  ForeTalk is a much-needed gift for those you love most. After all, ‘foretalk’ is much better than hindsight.

ForeTalk includes the following themes and more:

• Ways to identify financial strategies to create a lifetime income for your heirs
• How to find the right attorney for your family’s needs
• How to create a well-written will which will withstand challenges
• How to find the right person as your executor, power(S)of attorney for finance and health care
• Tips to plan a funeral or memorial service that will tell your own story
• How to save thousands of dollars for your family on funeral expenses
• What a Living Will, Hospice and Palliative Care may mean to you
• How to draft the most important letter of your life
• Truths and myths about burial and cremation
• Ten estate-planning mistakes 

Stan Craig is a pastor, financial professional, author, speaker and the executive director of a non- profit foundation.  His new book, ForeTalk: 7 Critical Conversations for the Season of Now and the ForeTalk Seminar are the direct result of his personal experience when his younger brother died of lung cancer and Craig was unprepared to handle his brother’s end-of-life planning. 

Craig holds degrees from University of Kentucky, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.Div. and Th.M.) and the Wharton School. Craig has served as minister of youth, associate pastor and senior pastor of churches in Kentucky, Pennsylvania and Vancouver, BC, Canada.  He took early retirement from Merrill Lynch in 2001 and is currently a Financial Advisor Consultant for Supernova, Inc.   Craig is a fifteen-year member of the National Speakers Association and has presented to executives and dignitaries in every U.S. state, Canada, Europe, Africa, Middle East, China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong.   He is co-author of the books Leadership Defined and One Best Idea and serves as a seminary trustee and member of the financial board. He and his wife, Gloria, have six children and eight grandchildren and currently live in Louisville, Kentucky.

ForeTalk is available for pre-order now or purchase in February 2013 at Amazon.com, as well as other online booksellers.  To learn more visit: http://foretalkseminar.com/

Study Finds Major Jump In Kids Injured In Bouncers

Researchers call for the development of national safety guidelines

A new study by researchers at the Center for Injury Research and Policy of the Research Institute at Nationwide Children's Hospital examined pediatric injuries associated with inflatable bouncers, such as bounce houses and moonwalks. Researchers found that from 1995 to 2010 there was a 15-fold increase in the number of inflatable bouncer-related injuries that were treated in U.S. emergency departments among children younger than 18 years of age. In 2010 alone, more than 30 children per day, or about one child every 45 minutes, were treated in hospital emergency departments for injuries associated with inflatable bouncers.

The study, available online November 26, 2012 and published in the December 2012 print issue of Pediatrics, found that while fractures (28 percent) and strains or sprains (27 percent) were the most common types of injuries, approximately 1 in 5 injuries (19 percent) were to the head and neck, demonstrating that use of these products can pose serious risks. Falls (43 percent) were the most common cause of injury followed by stunts and collisions. The majority of the injuries occurred either in a recreational setting (44 percent) or at home (38 percent).

“The findings from this study show that there has been an alarming increase in the number of injuries from inflatable bouncers,” says Gary A. Smith, MD, DrPH, director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital. “It is time for us to take action to prevent these injuries. Ensuring that parents are aware of the potential risks, improving surveillance of the injuries, developing national safety guidelines and improving bouncer design are the first steps.”

The study authors point out that the injury patterns for inflatable bouncers and trampolines are very similar, and although there are national safety guidelines for trampoline use, no such guidelines exist for inflatable bouncers.
“The medical and public health community has yet to provide recommendations on the safe use of inflatable bouncers,” says Dr. Smith, also a professor of Pediatrics at The Ohio State University College of Medicine. “The growing epidemic of inflatable bouncer injuries make it clear that it is time to do so.”

Until national safety guidelines are in place, parents should consider the risks before allowing their child to use an inflatable bouncer.  If parents allow their child to use an inflatable bouncer, they should consider limiting use to children 6 years of age and older, requiring that an adult be present to supervise while the bouncer is in use and allowing only one child on the bouncer at a time. If more than one child will be on the bouncer at the same time, the children should be approximately of the same age and size.

This is the first study to use a nationally representative sample to examine injuries associated with inflatable bouncer-related injuries that were treated in U.S. emergency departments. Data for this study were obtained from the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS), which is operated by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. The NEISS provides information on consumer product-related and sports and recreation-related injuries treated in hospital emergency departments across the country.

The Center for Injury Research and Policy (CIRP) of The Research Institute at Nationwide Children’s Hospital works globally to reduce injury-related pediatric death and disabilities. With innovative research at its core, CIRP works to continually improve the scientific understanding of the epidemiology, biomechanics, prevention, acute treatment and rehabilitation of injuries. CIRP serves as a pioneer by translating cutting edge injury research into education, policy, and advances in clinical care. For related injury prevention materials or to learn more about CIRP, visit http://www.injurycenter.org.

Why Dads Don't Talk And Sons Won't Listen

 

Our guest blogger, Roy Sheppard is a British relationships expert, lecturer and writer. He is the author of the new book “Dear Son: What I Wish I’d Known at Your Age” for sons aged 15-25+.

When you were a teen, did your dad ever talk to you about what it is to be a man? Probably not.  And if he did, did you listen? Probably not.

When I was growing up I found that my dad was hardly ever there for me. He was a ‘good father’ by being at work, providing for the family.  He took his fatherly responsibilities seriously, just like millions of other dads. But when he was home, did we talk much during my teen years? No. Did we ‘connect’? No. We were effectively strangers who lived under the same roof. It appears that this is normal in millions of homes today too.

As for growing into a young man, I was left to figure it all out for myself.  And I struggled. But I would never let anyone know because that would be seen as weak and unmanly. So I pretended to be what I thought a man was supposed to be.

Looking back, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I didn’t even know what I didn’t know! Yet, somehow this was all normal. Almost all guys went through the same thing. 

We didn’t talk. Our dads didn’t talk. And their dads talked even less.

In direct contrast, transitioning from boyhood to manhood is a vital, guided step in so-called primitive, tribal societies.  In those communities, boys grow up around male company; they live and work with their fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers and all the other men in their villages.

These boys learn how to be good, responsible men from an early age.

In fact, it’s common practice in many tribal societies for young boys as young as seven or eight to look after the villages’ most valuable asset; the livestock. These goats, sheep and cattle represent the entire wealth of a village, yet their safety and well-being are entrusted to little boys.

Would that be allowed to happen in the West? There’s no way such activity would pass a health and safety risk assessment! Wild animal attacks, the potential for being trampled to death by stampeding goats is far too risky.

Here, young male adults are no longer taught what they need to know about their future lives as men. They still have to figure it out for themselves. And they are under far more pressure than ever before.

Out-performed by girls at school, saddled with University tuition debt, unable to afford to leave home and a chronic lack of employment opportunities has resulted in so many young guys feeling lost, isolated, trapped and even discarded by society before they’ve even started their lives as men.

Is it any surprise that the biggest cause of death among young men is now suicide. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention claims that a young man is three to four times more likely to commit suicide than a young woman. Putting that into perspective, more young men die of suicide in North America than get killed in combat fighting for their country in conflict zones around the world.

This was brought home to me recently when I heard of a distraught dad whose intelligent, seemingly happy son had committed suicide just days before his 18^th birthday.

Too many young guys feel as though they are not being taken seriously. They are really struggling.

“But they won’t listen.” You might say. That’s partially true. They won’t listen to their parents any more. Do you?

When is the last time you really listened to your own parents, your partner or your children without jumping in to tell them why they are wrong about whatever they said? Why their fears are unfounded or silly?  And then, with the best of intentions perhaps, do you then tell them what they ‘must’ or ‘should’ do?

If so, that’s precisely why young men don’t listen to their parents!

Instead, just listen. Don’t offer advice unless it is specifically requested. My book is designed to provide an independent bridge between dads and their teenage sons to get them talking and listening more to each other about what it is to be a man. Whether you use my book or not, many more of these really important conversations must happen. Society so desperately needs more responsible men.

Roy Sheppard is the author of the new book “Dear Son: What I Wish I’d Known at Your Age”. Ahead of its US publication in June 2013, it is only available to buy at www.DearSonBook.com where you can also download a sample.

Currently working on the Dear Daughter version, Roy is keen to hear from mothers and fathers with any insights and advice they would want to see included. Email DearDaughter@RoySpeaks.com.

Profound

By Guest Blogger Tina Kay Hughes I heard a Hewlett-Packard commercial that said, “It’s something you are born with that lives inside of you and inspires the things you choose to do. Things that may not always change the world in a big way, but can change in a million little ways. You do what you do because it matters to you; to dream, to learn, to create, to work. If you are going to do something, make it matter!” This was so profound to me because it actually issues a challenge to each of us to initiate or start doing something small in our lives that will turn into something big over time because we’ve shared our lives with so many along the way. We are all looking for something to do that will allow us to brag about that one big thing in our lives that we’ve conquered. If you think about it, we want to become somebody, to get something, to go some where, and what we call making it on our own terms. However, the sad truth is many of us miss the mark and never accomplish some big feat that makes us shine like new money. What does it mean to make it, if you have not helped others along the way? What does it mean to make it if you’ve made no difference in the lives of the people that pass through your life? How long do we wait to make a big difference, just waiting for that one chance to show and prove your self to the masses? Sometimes we have it all twisted. Stop trying to become this big figure with no substance! I’m sure that we all can seize quite a few moments in our lives but instead of making a small difference many times we sit back and wait to make a big difference to a few people in only one instance so that we can brag to others. This is indeed a selfish act, because you focus on self instead of others. For those of faith, God challenges us daily to become fishers of men/women. How do we change our mind set to believe "If I share my life with people along my journey, I would have shared much with as many people as I could possibly reach." God has set our lives up to be a light house upon a hill sharing our light so that those needing your light do not crash and burn as they try to make it to the shores to rest during this journey called life. People will be able to look at your life not for any perfections or accolades you’ve made, but for the times we were tried and tested, but did not give up. If we would just open up and stop waiting for the most opportune time to make a difference and try making small differences everyday, you will reach the masses in small increments. Just think about it, your life would have touched so many over the years of your life and you will be able to say that you have truly lived. And God will say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Tina Kay Hughes is an inspirational speaker and was the cover model for Birmingham Parent's Sept. 2012 issue. contact her at contact@tinakay.net or visit www.tinakay.net. Photo by Amanda Traywick, www.amandatraywick.com.